Redefining Me

Looking back at my Facebook memories from years past August 25 was the first day of school for a number of years in Charlotte, NC.

As G3 left for school on Sunday morning (Middle East work week is Sun-Thurs) I realized that not only is this his final year of secondary school....this is my final year of being a stay at home mom. After  13 years....my job is coming to an end.

When we found out I was pregnant Ville and I discussed how we would raise this new addition and it was decided that I would be home with him. We didn't put a time frame on it. We just knew that from the day we came home from the hospital I would be there. Period. What helped that decision was the fact that I WANTED to be able to be home and not worry about rushing back to work AND the program I was working at my place of employment was ending.....WIN WIN!!! 

Once G3 arrived in April of 2004 I stepped into a new role. Not only was I able to breast feed, recover and bond with him I was able to be there when Mekai needed me too!! I wanted so much to take my time after having her but that was not a luxury at that time. Different husband, different situation... Nevertheless, I think that my presence was needed and appreciated by her as well. I was able to make it to ALL of her school activities and doctors appointments without having to take time off work. To say that those times through the years were special with both children, would be an understatement. 

What I found out after both kiddos were in school was that some were not to fond of me not going back to work. Although, I did work here and there for a while. I didn't go back full-time to any specific 9-5. And some didn't like it. I can count the times I was asked "so when you going back to work, you looking for a job?" Ville and I TOGETHER made our house work on a one income teacher salary. Was it tough? Hell Yeah! Especially the summers. But that is what we call sacrifice. Our home was happy. Our children were happy. We supported each other and God held us down. We look back on those years and can breathe easy NOW. We know where we've come from which is why our present is nothing but a blessing. People didn't/STILL DON'T understand it. And that's fine. They don't have to. This is our life to live and so far so good. Their opinions didn't matter then and the sure don't matter now.

So what is it that I will do next? What does the future hold for me? Besides enjoying being empty-nesters next year? I have some ideas. Once G3 is settled into his first semester of college, wherever it may be, I will be embarking on my own adventure. A 'redefining of Tam' if you will. 

So even though these next months will be bittersweet, I'm excited. Excited for GranVille and excited for me too. I plan to make the most of the time I have left with him being here and somewhat needing me. He's ready to soar and I'll be there to watch him take flight. All while getting ready to reacquaint myself with my own wings...