Lately I have shared with a few people that I have been in a heightened state of anxiety. Not only is my youngest child about to go off (back to the US) to college, but the states is off the chain right now with mass shootings. If I'm being completely honest with myself, I am scared.
As a Christian I know that I am to, "be anxious for nothing, cast all my cares on Him for He cares for me, let not my heart be troubled", and so on. But my reality for the past 6 years is, my now 18 year old son has lived in the bubble of Doha, Qatar. Free from racist police officers, racist spoiled white teenagers/men who fear his brilliance, strength, intelligence and the very skin on his body.
I am scared that he will be on a campus in a state that is predominantly Caucasian with no family. I know that the school he chose is the right fit for him. I know that he will achieve great things while he is there. And I know that he will continue to grow into the person he is destined to become. This was his choice. He feels good about it. So do I.
His father and I have had "the talk" that black parents have to have with their children. He knows full well that he can't say and do the same things some of his counterparts can do. He has to be aware at all times of where he is. How he comes across. How to react when approached by police. I have every confidence in his ability to be respectful of authority. My concern comes from how will they respond to him. He's a big guy for 18. Will he be perceived as a threat?
I can't lie, I am struggling. America isn't a great place to be right now. Especially if you're Black.
So, this is where and when my faith kicks in.
I have to have faith that God will be a fence around him.
I have to have faith that God is in control.
I have to have faith that every step he takes will be ordered and protected.
I have to have faith that he uses his commonsense at all times.
I have to have faith that he will make wise choices.
I have to have faith that he will always remember to pray.
I have to have faith that he knows he is God's son.
I have to have faith that God will never leave him, nor forsake him.
The next few months will be bittersweet. Trying to store up in my memory all that makes my son, my son. Hugs and kisses when I can get them. But mostly just spending time with him. Cherishing the moments. He is ready to fly and I'm thankful that he is. It means that we have prepared him well. So I will do my best to not worry. But instead believe that God's best is yet to come and G3 will be just fine.
